Inanimate Things
April 11th, 2007 by 
dani
If you and I were inanimate things
trapped in the frame of an old photograph,
trapped in a shadowed box of iniquity,
then I wouldn’t have to say good-bye.
Some monstrous creature of habit,
I could continue with my delusion that you, Dad,
were a man of steel and fundamental strength,
a man who would live forever.
But quivering with age, as a sopping cat,
Father, this man I didn’t know,
ghostly as if light could pass through you,
you fell like a toppled Buddha
from the hard work of making people happy.
I was not prepared to become the
guardian of the ever-falling,
to shine on after you were gone.
No matter.
The evening held its breath, and then
a faceless fear crept around our circle.
Morning light dispelled the mist of delusions.
The hourglass is broken but the sand
keeps sifting through nonetheless to
bury me under passing days as we bury you.
My vision wavers with milky wavelets.
The house, empty. The chill comes up quickly.
Clanging door stirs dust as I exit,
fingering what remains of you:
rumpled keepsakes in my pocket,
photos and boxes, inanimate things.
***
This poem was born from an exercise proposed on the Poetry Thursday site where we were asked to develop a poem from a line provided by another participant. Except, I tried writing a poem incorporating as many of these lines as possible by regrouping them and modifying them slightly. I only actually wrote about seven lines of the above poem. As a fairly successful collective work, my thanks go to:
The Brave, Michelle, Harry, bgfay, January, fragmentsinsight, � Seasn�in, Chickadee Chatter, Deb, Rethabile, Tiel Aisha Ansari, Dave, Pauline, Beaman, Amy, Sara, Jeannine, Marcia, split ends, Brent Goodman, Madd, Shelley, Sarala and G.
Posted in Poetry | 
April 11th, 2007 at 10:54 pm
Your did a beautiful job of weaving so many of us together. I chose only 6, but left them intact — it felt so good to mix my words with others. I admire the job you did here, I was surprised you had used so many phrases from the challenge for when I read the poem — I saw only cohesive words that flowed well and told a story with emotion and clarity.
April 12th, 2007 at 9:16 am
I didn’t realise you’d used so many of the lines! It seemed so seamless.
April 12th, 2007 at 10:00 am
Terrific job - so many lines used well.
April 12th, 2007 at 10:03 am
It reads so perfectly. You’ve done a wonderful job of mixing in the various lines. Great to see one of mine too! This is truly an excellent poem, one of my favourites.
April 12th, 2007 at 11:45 am
All the 24 lines simply work great here. You did a wonderful job of it.
It made one great read.
April 12th, 2007 at 11:59 am
This reads really well. How perfectly you’ve captured your subject with so many previously unrelated lines!
April 12th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
Very excellent use of all those lines. I don’t think it read like one of your usual poems but nonetheless it was awesome. I used 7 quotes and figured I would be one of the only ones who could not pick just one. Obviously I was wrong. Impressive!
April 12th, 2007 at 1:01 pm
I’m more than a little miffed that you took part of my line and wrote a better piece than mine. The nerve!
I feel like the top two-thirds are a piece that I could read and re-read over and over. The idea of the man who had been so large becoming so small is something I feel completely.
Your piece is very good, it’s lovely, and it’s tough to get my head around how many lines you used to make a very coherent whole. Wow.
April 12th, 2007 at 1:46 pm
Amazing job of using so many different lines. They are seamless and wonderful story.
April 12th, 2007 at 1:53 pm
A beautiful chimera!
April 12th, 2007 at 2:37 pm
That rocked! What a crafty guy…I enjoyed every smidgeon..
April 12th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Wow- impressive, Dani! The first stanza was so beautiful- I would like to think that way, too.
April 12th, 2007 at 5:20 pm
Marie,
Just for info, I’m not a guy.
April 12th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
You really seamlessly integrated so many lines! I really like how the “toppled Buddha” image is used.
April 12th, 2007 at 7:32 pm
*applause*
well done! It’s amazing how well you’ve integrated so many different lines - it’s seamless and all your own.
April 12th, 2007 at 8:38 pm
I love this showing off, and it happily celebrates the very spirit of Poetry Thursday. I especially dig that “no matter,” in the middle of it all–a funny, hip rest stop.
April 12th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
What a brilliant idea! The lines read together beautifully.
I used your line, “It will whisper its silent secrets to you,” in my poem today.
April 12th, 2007 at 9:28 pm
Excellent!
April 12th, 2007 at 9:56 pm
Thanks to everyone for all the kudos, but if it’s so good, it’s because we are all great poets! Long Live Poetry Thursday!
April 12th, 2007 at 11:13 pm
This is impressive. Thanks for the reference
I’ll definitely check out your site.
April 13th, 2007 at 12:03 am
I’m impressed with your making cohesion out of that many lines. Nice work. Mine’s still not up yet.
April 13th, 2007 at 4:52 am
Well done. they are woven together nicely.
April 13th, 2007 at 5:10 am
What you wove with the (24!) lines was a tapestry of depth and beauty. And that rest stop was definitely dynamic. You are a heck of a maestro.
April 13th, 2007 at 12:50 pm
This was fun to read, once not knowing how you composed it, and then again after finding out.
April 13th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Thanks for the visit and the and your warm comment..you had such a wonderful line I couldn’t resist. I love your writing..I have so little time lately to visit and leave comments, work being the all consuming black hole that it is..too many projects too little time..:) I usually am a lurker flitting from site to site late at nite, kin of like a warm glasd of mikl, just had to stop by and say hi..when I saw your line the words were just there so thanks for the burst of inspiration..take care..m
April 13th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
lolol..as you can see I was rushing when I left my comment..but I think you get the gist of it even with all the typos..am visiting friends this weekend and using their computer..why is it we get so comfy with ours and feel so strange on anothers,,oh well just one of lifes silly questions there is not answer to …m
April 13th, 2007 at 4:05 pm
I loved seeing my line in this remarkable poem.
The part I liked the best was the way you used the sentence
from the hard work of making other people happy
That so reminds me of my grandfather.
April 13th, 2007 at 4:39 pm
Beautiful poem, Dani. Well done, you!
April 14th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Absolutely splendid. This reads like a wonderful story. I would never have guessed it is actually a merging of many different lines. You sculpted it into a beautiful poem.
April 14th, 2007 at 6:47 pm
Seamlessly woven! Excellent. I used many lines, too, but came up with a different viewpoint. How interesting. This was very fun!
April 19th, 2007 at 8:41 pm
This is beautiful! Truly a tapestry of great lines. Wow!
(And - eeep! - so glad to see one of my lines used in a new way).
October 7th, 2007 at 3:03 pm
Tiel Aisha Ansari and I, Mike McCulley, have created a ‘poetry exchange’ blog at Totally Optional Prompts , and you are invited to participate.