Tangles
July 25th, 2007 by 
dani
Bushy blue-black hair
cascades in tangles down her bronze back
growing from Punjabi and Spanish roots
spicy cultures unbridled atop her head
like curls of black smoke
rising from her blazing soul
Watch out if she turns ’round
she will singe you with sparks
from her smoky, kohl-lined eyes
should you dare get too close
Posted in Poetry | 
July 25th, 2007 at 9:24 pm
A work in progress inspired by “Tangles” from the random word generator on the Poetry Thursday site–not quite sure how to pursue it. Suggestions are welcome!
July 26th, 2007 at 9:33 am
Don’t look like you had that much trouble getting back. Nice.
July 26th, 2007 at 11:05 am
Very nice imagery in your poem.
July 26th, 2007 at 2:15 pm
I think you’ve described them perfectly. Very nice.
July 26th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
oh, sounds like an intriguing girl! A wonderful descriptive poem! And welcome back!
July 26th, 2007 at 5:27 pm
“growing from Punjabi and Spanish roots”
That sounds familiaar to me!
July 26th, 2007 at 6:32 pm
it leaves me with such a vivid vision of the back that it leaves me longing for a description of the front of her. i picture dark smokey eyes, lined with kohl. i *love* the way this poem sparks my imagination and leads me to think about/describe the rest of the person.
July 27th, 2007 at 2:26 am
“spicy cultures unbridled atop her head”
I like that line. It makes me think of my husband and I always try to guess someone’s heritage through their hair.
July 27th, 2007 at 4:37 am
What a great teaser. I was left wanting more.
July 27th, 2007 at 6:11 am
This is so sultry!
July 27th, 2007 at 9:10 am
I love the rich and lush feeling of her hair — and her mystery. Really nice! And welcome back!
July 27th, 2007 at 12:16 pm
oh i like this… especially the punjabi and spanish roots… the reference to spice and the visual of the hair really combine well… excellent use of the word tangle…..
July 27th, 2007 at 4:44 pm
Welcome home! I’d like to read more of the mystery woman.
July 27th, 2007 at 6:30 pm
By not yet having her turn around she is mysterious — would it ruin the mystery to describe what really happens when you do look into her eyes?
Maybe contrast what you thought would happen with what really does? Just some thoughts on where to take this — a decent small poem on its own or maybe a strong beginning?
July 27th, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Great imagery. Lovely words.
July 28th, 2007 at 10:44 am
Thanks everyone!
CCM, I did add your suggestions.
Michelle, good points. I need to continue to work on it a bit.
July 28th, 2007 at 7:23 pm
These descriptions are so animated and vivid. I would love to see this detailed look at her body continue down to her very toes.
July 30th, 2007 at 9:53 pm
Hi Colorful!
I apologize for the spamlike comment, but I’m soliciting submissions for the Ringing of the Bards poetry blog carnival, August 11th.
If you are interested, you can find more details at my blog.
All poems are welcome, but I’m highlighting religious and spiritual poetry this month.
Whether you submit or not, please come by and visit the carnival!
August 11th, 2007 at 7:35 pm
Riveting. Makes my heart race just imagining the magic in her hair (I’m thinking… a deity of sorts and stuff culled from dreams and folklore).
Cheers. ^_^